Journal of a Dog

I feel so, so, so good.

I really feel I just turned a big anxiety of mine that I held for over a year into something really good. I guess only time will tell if that's the case, but I don't feel like I could've done a lot of things that happened last night if I was still anxious about him. Who knows, maybe this time we can actually be friends now.

And to get that out there before 2010. 2010 is going to be mine. New York State Licensed Massage Therapist. Leah DeCesare, LMT.
A list of things to do next year:
-Gain a steady clientele.
-Go to Thailand if I get my lawsuit money by then.
-Regardless, study Thai massage somehow.
-TRAIN more intensely, Wing Chun 2x/week (at least, train with friends outside of class if I can), Taiji 1x/week.
-See Pat at least twice a month, I hate how little I see him now.
-Read 30 books.
-Go to shows more often again (I've started doing this already just recently.)
-Get my band off the ground.

Resolutions:
-Stop google stalking.
-In fact, limit my computer use dramatically.
-Sort myself out/stop confusing the people who care about me.

( Books to read )

Also, this put things into perspective of the person I need to get back next year:
Man Spider Says: you always made me feel like
Man Spider Says: myself really
Man Spider Says: like i was always so comfortable aronud you.
Man Spider Says: like i can be comfortable around a few of my good friends
Man Spider Says: but with you it was always really different.
Man Spider Says: you know what
Man Spider Says: youre actually the only one
Man Spider Says: who i've actually said out loud
Man Spider Says: is very close and important to me
Man Spider Says: and really meant it
Man Spider Says: just because we dont talk alot or see eachother often at all
Man Spider Says: i still always think about you
Man Spider Says: and wish that i had you here and just by that happening things would just sort themselves out.
Man Spider Says: cause thats how it always was.
Man Spider Says: just by you being there and everything.

I know I have my own budding life and all, but I can't lose sight of the ones I care about in the process.